THE “NO” IS ALREADY YOURS—WHY NOT REACH FOR THE “YES”?
How Boldness, Relationships, and Persistence Can Turn Doubt Into Opportunity
Success often comes down to more than talent or timing. It’s shaped by the way we act, the people we connect with, and our willingness to keep going in the face of uncertainty.
Ever heard the expression “the ‘no’ is already yours”?
It’s a simple phrase with powerful implications—reminding us that staying silent or inactive guarantees one outcome: nothing changes. But what happens when we gather the courage to speak up, reach out, or take the first step? Suddenly, the possibility of a “yes” enters the picture.
In this article, we’re going to explore what this saying means, how it applies to the pursuit of success, and how boldness, meaningful relationships, and persistence can turn hesitation into opportunity.
1. Seizing the Moment with Audacity: The "no" is already yours.
When faced with an opportunity, many people hesitate, fearing rejection or failure. But what if you reframed the situation? In Brazil, there is a popular motivational saying: “O não você já tem”—which translates to “the 'no' is already yours”. This expression carries a simple yet powerful message: if you don’t try, you’re already guaranteed a negative outcome. The only way to change that outcome is by taking action.
Imagine you want a new job, a partnership, or even a life-changing opportunity. If you don’t put yourself out there, the answer is already no. But the moment you take action, you create a possibility for a yes—even if the odds are uncertain, your chances instantly rise from 0% to 50%.
This mindset shift is crucial because it eliminates the fear of failure. It helps you see that trying doesn’t make things worse; on the contrary, it’s the only way to achieve success. Those who embrace this perspective develop a natural boldness, allowing them to seize opportunities that others let slip away due to fear or hesitation.
Al Ruddy and The Offer: Turning a No into a Yes
A real-life example of this principle in action is the story of Al Ruddy, the producer of The Godfather. As portrayed in the series The Offer, Ruddy was not an established name in the movie industry. He didn’t have the credentials or connections to be considered a top producer. Yet, when an opportunity presented itself during a meeting with Hollywood executives, he didn’t hold back.
He spoke up, shared an idea, and took a risk. The room was filled with powerful people who had the authority to say yes—but if he had remained silent, he would have walked away with the no he already had. Instead, his audacity caught the attention of the right people, leading him to produce one of the most iconic films of all time.
Ruddy’s story proves that sometimes, the difference between success and staying unnoticed is simply the courage to take action. He didn’t wait for the perfect moment or for someone to hand him an opportunity—he created one by recognizing that the no was already his and choosing to go after the yes.
Reframing Rejection: Every No Brings You Closer to a Yes
Of course, not every attempt results in immediate success. But here’s another key insight: every no is not a failure—it’s a step forward. The more you try, the more you learn, refine your approach, and improve your chances of getting that yes in the future.
Many successful entrepreneurs, artists, and innovators faced countless rejections before they found their breakthrough. The common thread among them? They kept trying. They understood that by taking action, they increased their chances of success exponentially.
So, the next time you hesitate to apply for a job, pitch an idea, or take a leap toward a goal, remind yourself: the no, you already have it. The only way to get to yes is by stepping forward and taking the chance.
Al Ruddy on set with Marlon Brando during the production of The Godfather (1972). (Image courtesy of The New York Times. View the original article here.)
Al Ruddy holding his Academy Award for The Godfather, celebrating his bold leap into the film industry. (Image courtesy of The Times. View the original article here.)
2. The Power of Influence and Relationships in Success
Al Ruddy didn’t just land in that Paramount meeting by chance—he was invited by a friend who was already involved in the film business. While his boldness was the key to seizing the opportunity, the fact remains that his connection got him in the room.
This doesn’t mean that if you don’t have an influential friend, you’re out of luck. Nor does it mean you should rush to make friends with powerful people just to take advantage of them. Authentic relationships are built on genuine connections, not strategic self-interest. However, it does highlight an important truth: who you surround yourself with matters.
Building the Right Network
In today’s digital world, networking opportunities are more accessible than ever. Social media, professional platforms, and online communities provide free access to people in almost any industry. Unlike decades ago, when gatekeepers controlled access, today, you can reach out, collaborate, and learn from experts without waiting for an invitation.
The key is to be intentional with your connections:
Engage with people who share your aspirations.
Learn from those ahead of you on the path you want to follow.
Offer value to others, rather than just seeking opportunities for yourself.
Many successful people didn’t start with an “inside connection,” but they built one over time by showing up, adding value, and making themselves known.
Avoiding the Wrong Influence
Just as important as surrounding yourself with the right people is avoiding those who hold you back. Not everyone will support your journey—some will be envious, dismissive, or even actively discourage you. These can be:
People who resent success – Those who see ambition as a threat rather than an inspiration.
Chronic pessimists – Those who always focus on why things won’t work.
Friends who don’t align with your goals – Relationships should be based on mutual support. If someone consistently dismisses your aspirations, it may be time to create some distance.
Success is rarely a solo journey, and the people around you shape your mindset more than you might realize. By surrounding yourself with individuals who uplift and challenge you, you set yourself up for more opportunities to grow and thrive.
Part 3: Persistence and Consistency – The Keys to Unlocking Opportunity
Success rarely happens overnight. Even those who appear to have achieved it quickly have usually spent years preparing, learning, and seizing multiple opportunities until the right one clicked.
The Probability Factor: Every Attempt Increases Your Chances
Think of success as a numbers game. The more times you put yourself out there, the higher your chances of eventually getting a "yes". If you send one email and get no response, that doesn’t mean you failed—it simply means the process isn’t complete yet. The key is to keep going.
Many successful people in different industries have stories of relentless persistence:
Writers who submitted their manuscripts dozens of times before getting published.
Musicians who played in small venues for years before their breakthrough.
Entrepreneurs who pitched their ideas to countless investors before landing funding.
No matter the field, the pattern is the same—those who keep knocking on doors are the ones who
eventually find one that opens.
Why Most People Give Up Too Soon
One of the biggest reasons people don’t reach their goals isn’t lack of skill or intelligence—it’s lack of perseverance. Many stop trying after a few rejections, assuming that means they aren’t good enough. But if they had tried a few more times, they might have gotten the opportunity they were looking for.
This is why consistency is just as important as persistence. It’s not just about trying once in a while—it’s about making a habit of putting in the effort regularly. Just like planting seeds, the more you cultivate your efforts, the more chances you have for growth and success.
So, as we wrap up this journey, let’s remember:
The "no" is guaranteed if you don’t try—so always go for the "yes".
Your network and relationships can open doors, but they must be built with authenticity.
The more you try, the closer you get—persistence and consistency are the real game-changers.
